Chapter 1 Read online

  That’s when they really started to get down and nasty with me, rubbing their bodies all over mine. It was absolutely 100% sex…without the condoms and actual penetration.

  That’s when I saw a group of women watching the whole “threesome” go down. I could see that one of them was trying to get Houston’s attention, but he never did pay much attention to her, which made her get up from her seat and walk over to where we were.

  “How about coming over and dancing for us baby, we’ve been waiting for you,” she said slyly, looking down at me.

  “After this song, I’ll come over to your table.”

  “Why not now sweetheart? You’re not doing anything but dancing for this thing here.” Something within me snapped back to reality. I got up from my chair and looked at her,

  “Who you calling a ‘thing’?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean thing, I meant to say Ms. Fat Thing!” she snickered, her hand on her hip.

  This is when the “slap heard round the world” comes into motion.

  “Why” you might ask, is it called that; well, the last time I got into a fight with someone, I slapped them so hard that not only did the person end up with a broken jaw, but folks heard the sound of that slap clear across the other side of the street and about 2 blocks away.

  I could see from the way this evening was going, that the “slap” was going to be making a comeback. Before I knew it, I slapped her so hard that she landed on the floor, and her little

  “posse” of friends came zooming my way.

  “I can’t believe you got us kicked out of the club tonight, what the hell is wrong with you, 14

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  woman?” Marie asked, handing me an ice pack for my hand once we were at my apartment.

  “That snaggletooth heifer shouldn’t have called me a ‘fat thing’ and she wouldn’t have gotten a slap like she did. The rest of those crazy bitches wouldn’t have gotten beaten up either.” The ice pack felt like it was hot on my skin and made me hiss a little as I pressed it to my hand.

  “Are you going to be alright?”

  I looked at her as she started putting on her jacket and grabbing her purse. “Yeah, go on, I’ll be alright. Listen, I’m sorry about tonight, I know you were trying to cheer me up and I ruined it.”

  Marie laughed a little as she opened the door and walked out, leaving me alone.

  It took a while before I started to get ready for bed. Removing the ice pack from my hand, I wiggled my sore fingers to make sure they weren’t broken or anything then made my way to my bed.

  If Only You Knew

  15

  Chapter Two

  Today was cleaning day for me. I was busy as hell trying to get that pesky burn stain from the eye of the stove.

  Give me strength, almighty-cleaning Gods above!

  The phone rang, which in itself was a blessing because I had been cleaning non-stop for about three hours. “Hello?”

  “Hey there, what are you doing?” asked Richard.

  “Cleaning, do you want to come over and help me with this stove?” I asked while plopping on the couch.

  I heard him laugh, and I sighed from the relief I felt when I sat down, “I was calling to see how you were doing. I haven’t heard from you since that night at the bar, and I was worried about you.”

  Such a caring soul he is, no wonder I love him so much.

  “Marie and Andrew came by the next day to check on me. They told me that your girlfriend talked up a storm that night.”

  “Yeah, Laura is quite a character. I think that Marie had enough of her talking though, because she said she was ready to go.”

  I started giggling but stopped to ask, “So, where is she now?”

  “On her way over here to the studio and that’s actually why I called you in the first place. I took some new pictures, and I need your advice on some of them to put up. How long will it take you to come over?”

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  “Give me an hour to get ready, I smell like bleach and Comet right now. I’ll be on my way then.”

  Richard had always told me when we were in college that one day he was going to open a gallery with all of his works. When we both moved to Manhattan, the first thing he did was look for a place to start his gallery. It took him months of searching for the right location, but he found this little run down coffee shop. I swear sometimes, after all these years, that you can still smell the faint scent of coffee.

  “Hey, Marley, glad you made it,” Richard said, coming down the stairs with some folders.

  He was wearing those faded blue jeans with the white shirt that he always wore when he was working.

  “Goodness, where are your shoes, man?” I said as I made my way up the steps.

  “I don’t understand why he does that either,” said a voice from inside of the bathroom.

  That’s when she came out with a smile on her face, and soon her lips were on his.

  “I wanted you to see these pictures I took over at Central Park about a week ago. You see this one of the little boy with the big red ball…see how he throws it up in the air like that. I was thinking about blowing it up, and instead of the ball, I would superimpose a picture of the Earth.”

  “I love it, Richard sweetheart. I think it would look great.” Laura smiled as she stepped between Richard and me.

  I looked at the picture again and said, “Well yeah, it would be nice, but how about doing this… Why not leave it; originality is the key to taking a photograph no matter what. Just leave it like it is, it’s priceless.”

  “I swear, Marley, I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re absolutely right, thanks.”

  Marley 1… Laura 0!

  “Oh, I wanted to show you something else, sweetheart, I got some new swimsuits that I want you to see. Let me get them out of the car,” Laura said with a quirky little high-pitched giggle as the clip clop of her higher than high heels wreaked havoc on the hardwood floor.

  If Only You Knew

  17

  Good lord, who in the hell told her that laugh of hers was cute anyways?

  “I’ve got to go, my man, I’ve got to go and meet Agnes about my book I sent her. I’ll let you know what she thinks about it,” I said, walking down the steps.

  “Alright then, talk with you later.” He smiled as I waved.

  I was just hoping that Agnes wasn’t going to be jumping down my throat about how long it took for me to submit my newest work, even though it was supposed to have been sent in about a month ago, there was still something missing.

  When I got to her office, Maggie, her secretary, was there to greet me. “Hey, Marley, Mrs.

  Mason is already expecting you. Go right on in.” I smiled as I went into her office. She was on the phone with someone and she pointed to the chair in front of her desk for me to sit. “I want to talk with you about your story,” she whispered as I sat down in the brown leather chair.

  “Alright then, I’ll talk with you later, take care,” she said then hung up the phone.

  Agnes turned to me, “Well I read your novel and this one is probably your best work yet. I literally cried my eyes out until there were no more tears left to cry. I don’t know how you come up with such good characters. They seem so lifelike, Marley, I don’t know how you do it sometimes.”

  I started laughing because I could tell by how red and swollen her eyes were that she was telling the truth.

  “So you think my fans are going to like it then?”

  “Do you know who I just got off the phone with? Robert Chase from Barnes and Noble and he wants you to do two grand openings; a book signing at one and a signing with a Q and A session at the other. I can have you scheduled for both if you can do it?” she asked with a smile.

  “I would love to do it. I have never had a book signing for any of my books before. My schedule is completely open for anytime. I just came to see what you thought of my book.”

  “What’s
the matter, Marley, you look down today?”

  “Nothing, Agnes, I’ve just had a lot of stuff going on lately, nothing that a long warm soak 18

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  wouldn’t cure. It looks like the right weather for it anyways. Call me later, when you’re not busy, ok?” Getting up, I waved as I walked out of her office.

  * * * *

  “Do you want to go out for dinner tonight, my treat?” Andrew asked while we walked from his office to the corner market place.

  “Nah, I plan to stay in tonight. My movie is coming on and I want to see it.”

  “But I am treating, Marley, and you know I don’t do that often.” I laughed at Andrew as I looked over the tomatoes, “This I know, but it’s going to rain because my knee has been acting up all day, so I’m going to make myself dinner, curl up in my pajamas, and watch a good movie.”

  And that’s what I did when I finally got myself settled down that night, and like I predicted, the rain was pouring outside. I was eating a salad with the tomatoes I bought from the market place when the intercom buzzer rang through my apartment. Getting up, I pushed the button,

  “Yes, who it is?”

  “It’s me, Richard, can I come up?”

  Pushing the buzzer for a minute, I opened the door as I heard his footsteps coming up the hallway. He was soaking wet when he came to my door.

  “I know you didn’t come out in this weather without an umbrella!”

  “I got bored at home, so I came to surprise you. What are you doing?”

  “First thing first, take your coat off and put it in the bathroom on the hanger to dry and go change clothes. You’re soaking wet, and I am not going to have you dripping all over my couch.

  You know the drill, mister, so move it!” I shouted as he went straight to my bathroom to change.

  When he came out, he was wearing his usual baggy pants and a t-shirt he mixed up one time in my laundry and I just kept them at my place. He went into the kitchen and came back to the couch with a bag of chips and two sodas. Handing me one, I put mine on the coffee table and continued to watch my movie. That’s when he put his cold feet on mine and I shouted as he If Only You Knew

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  started laughing. I threw a pillow at him, starting a full-blown pillow fight. I don’t think I ever laughed so hard, it felt good to laugh like that again.

  “You know, you’re a trip. What happened with your girl?” I asked point blank.

  “She had some party she wanted me to go to, but I told her I was too tired, going to parties every single night and meeting all of those people, most of them are the same ones. So I just stayed home, then I got bored. I was going to call you but decided to surprise you, and well, here I am.” He smiled as he sat right next to me.

  Even though he was wet from the rain, I could still smell his cologne. It was something that I gave him a long time ago, and he told me how much he loved it. The smell was not too faint but I could still smell it on his skin as I started snuggling with him. This was as far as I could go with him; we never ever seem to go any further than snuggling. Grabbing the blanket I had, I pulled it over the both of us and we snuggled deep within the warmth of the blanket and his body.

  God, why can’t it be like this all the time?

  I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep until I found us still lying together on the couch.

  Looking up at his sleeping face, I had to smile at how peaceful he looked. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t take my eyes off of him at that moment. I wanted to kiss those lips just to feel them. He had kissed me dozens of times on the cheek, but I hadn’t had a real kiss since that night when we were in college.

  “Alright Richard it’s your turn now, truth or dare?” Max Simmons asked as everyone else started passing around Jell-O shots.

  “Dare!”

  It was our junior year in college and we were having fun at an after mid-terms party at Richard’s fraternity. Everyone started laughing and giggling as some of the guys huddled around Max to plan this dare.

  “Alright, alright, you have two choices. You can either kiss Marley or drink this cup of cigarette butts, Coca Cola, and ashes,” he said, handing him the McDonalds cup filled with the concoction. I swear I never saw anyone turn so many shades of green in my life. He probably 20

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  could have barfed something the cat drug up, but I never thought that he would do what he was about to do.

  “But here is the catch…if you kiss Marley; you have to go into the closet over there to do it.”

  He pointed towards a black door and believe me, there was no telling what lurked in the deep depths of that closet. I was afraid even to think of how much it probably smelled. That’s when he grabbed my hand and pulled me up, walking me to that closet door.

  “How long do we have to be in there?” I asked Max as he opened the closet door for us.

  “If it is a good kiss then it should last around 5 minutes, maybe longer if it’s really good, have fun kiddies!” he laughed and closed the door. Darkness engulfed us.

  “Where is the light?” Richard asked, trying to find a switch or something.

  “Just feel around, you’ll find it.”

  Soon, the little light that did come into the closet was enough for us to see each other. It was an uncomfortable moment, I had to admit, and all we could do was to sit and wait. He looked at me and I saw a nervous smile.

  “What do we do now?” I asked. “You know they’re going to wonder if we did it or not. You don’t have any of my lipstick smeared all over your face. If we’re going to kiss then why not just get it over with.”

  He nodded and moved toward me, even though all I could see was the outline of his head in what seemed a florescent halo. Finally, I could see his eyes; God, those eyes, how they sparkled in the darkness. I kept staring as he bent over me while I sat on a trunk. I don’t know what he was thinking at that time, but I was thinking, “God I ’ ve been waiting for this moment for so long!”

  His fingers ran lightly across my face, it felt so nice, and I wanted to let this moment linger as he moved some of my black hair from my face.

  If you don’t show that you‘re enjoying this, then he won‘t know that you care so much, I kept telling myself while he cupped my chin, motioning it upwards toward his face and that sweet If Only You Knew

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  smile of his. It made me smile when he did. I don’t know what it was about him that always made me smile.

  Maybe it’s because you’re in love with him you idiot!

  “You know, as long as I’ve known you, Marley, I’ve never noticed how your eyes seem to shine so much.”

  He moved closer to me, and I could feel his warm breath against my lips. That's when it happened. It was soft and it made me tingle all over as I felt him deepen the kiss. I slowly stood and we held each other close.

  That’s when the door opened with a bright shot of light, and we heard a lot of cheers and shouts from people as we stopped mid-kiss. Talk about being embarrassed that night. It would be the only time we ever kissed like that.

  Go on girl, he’s still asleep... Kiss him, he won't know!

  I shook that idea out of my mind. If I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to be fully aware of what he was doing. I got up quietly, yeah even for a fat chick I could move with ease as I put the blanket back on him and went to the bathroom.

  I started making breakfast; scrambled eggs, sausage, toast, and some fruit. When I started pouring the juice, I could see his sleepy head pop up from behind the couch. Rubbing his eyes and stretching out, he looked over and said, “Mm, a little breakfast, huh? Let me check on my clothes and see if they are dry yet.”

  I decided to make a small bowl of grits for myself, and when I came back to the table, he came in with his clothes and sat down. We ate our food; well, we ended up eating off each other's plate because he kept eating my grits.

  “Didn’t you tell me that you didn’t like grits?”

  “I on
ly like it when you make them; yours are always good for some reason. I always enjoy having breakfast with you like this. I’ve actually missed spending time with you, been so busy with work and these shoots, and Laura, she keeps me on my toes a lot. You know, she was telling me that she wanted me to go to France with her. I’ve always wanted to go there and take 22

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  pictures. I’m thinking about going, Marley. I really want to go badly.” This is not the way to start the day. I knew I was going to throw up my breakfast. This was like a bad fucking nightmare. I heard the phone ring and got up to answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “Is Richard there?” asked a female voice.

  I handed the phone to him as he started talking on the phone. I was putting up the dishes as I heard him telling her that he was over here for the night. I could hear her screaming something, and he went on to say he had slept on the couch watching television.

  She thought we slept together. Oh my God, she thinks we slept together!

  He hung up the phone but didn’t look at me at first. Then he turned around and tried to put on a smile, but I knew whatever she said hurt him. I just went back to rinsing the dishes before I set them up in the dishwasher. “That was Laura. She was worried about me. I forgot my cell phone, and she had been calling me half the night. Then she got your number off the net and called.”

  “She sounded pissed.” I told him point blank.

  “Yeah, she was, but she’ll get over it. I’ve got to go back to the studio,” he said, putting on his shoes and making his way to the door. He turned around, looked at me, and smiled, “I’ll call you later. Maybe we can go out for lunch, if you like.” He closed the door, and I slumped down in my chair with a heavy sigh.

  What is going on with me?

  I went to start my bath, figuring out whether to use my vanilla or lavender bath salts. Oh hell, might as well use both of them, so half of each went into the warm water. I went to get my towel when the phone rang again.

  “Hello?”

  “Is Richard there?”

  “He just left not too long ago.”

  “Can I ask you something? Why was he there with you last night?” If Only You Knew